It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything

NEW SCREEN NAME

2009-07-06T20:31:51Z

MacNCheezyPlzy
MacNCheezyPlzy

MacNCheezyPlzy
MacNCheezyPlzy

add that shit!

cape coral fourth of july picture fail

2009-07-06T17:31:58Z

things are still tense

oh well this made me smile

This has been a sad weekend.

2009-06-29T17:13:37Z

What is so wrong with me?

I really tried with this one.
I think its because I'm not as perfect as the 17 year old snatch
running around these days. Maybe its because I take care of everything in my living environment.
I put the important things first.
You however do not.
You never talk about me, introduced me to people when we go out.
I am just some girl that hangs out all the time and happens to live where you do.

I'm losing control. But when I think about it love always crashes.
I don't think there is such thing as constant love.
It always seem to happen to at that point of the relationship where I am madly in love with the other person
and they are slowly drifting out of love with me.

I used to never stand for this.
I would be out and finding ways to make myself happy.
I feel so stupid.
Sitting in this big empty house with all these poor animals that are barely getting the attention they need these days.
I feel like one of them. I need out.
I need to feel like myself again.
And stop letting people make me who I am.

last night

2009-06-21T21:38:35Z

Last night , A tranny dressed as Rihanna, and a 40 year old man in a wig beat me in a booty shakin contest.
Oh the humiliation. Haha.

So much fun.

YAY!

2009-06-16T22:49:44Z

I start work tommrow!

I'm excited!

Lately!

2009-06-13T21:49:04Z

All roomates are gone.
Its werid. But me and mike have lived together alone before so at least I have animals to always keep me company while hes away.
I can't wait to start working! Harry has been here this weekend but he leaves tommrow. I'm going to start getting up early, exercising, and going to bed at a normal time. I also am going to try to quit smoking, and only drink once in a while, not as much as we have been lately.
It's all taking a toll on my body. I'm 22 but I feel 44. Lazyness is not an option with me anymore. Its time to go out and get into shape and start feeling healthy again!
Mike works tonight. I'm going to watch the Degrassi marathon thats on The N all night tonight haha. Maybe do some swimming. If you would like to join give me a call ;-)

I love him.

untilyoumean_it @ 2009-06-12T16:12:00

2009-06-12T20:12:55Z

Im officially joining the work force again at gigis grooming as a puppy bather! Im so ready to work again! Heres some cute pics

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

untilyoumean_it @ 2009-06-06T15:17:00

2009-06-06T19:18:34Z

I'm going to be home alone tonight. The first time in months.
It's going to feel great. I'm going to dye my hair and be girlie. And hang out with all my animals.
Maybe I'll have some company later. I'm in the mood to cook people dinner!
<3

Yeppers!

2009-06-04T23:04:02Z

This has been a long week. The rackums birthday celebration was fun but I drank too much and got pissy about all kinds of things at the end but in the end it was fantastic. Minus the part where the most boring part of my past all walked in the door. Thats the kind of feeling I get now and in my head I'm just like " man those people really suck now." They didn't suck for long because soon after it was like getting jabbed with a sewing needle, annoying at first then a distant memory. Now for the great part. My best friend of years and years Lanna and Mike Macguiness are finaly home. I've had so much fun with them and most of the time if it wasn't for them I would probably want to gouge my eyeballs out!
Tonight is Ladies night at the new Mardi Gras gay bar in cape coral. It's of 47th terr and its full of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my life. You should go and have some fun with me and my good friends.
If you're in need of some good people to just kick back and have a great night with we are those people so don't hesitate to give me a call I love friends <3

untilyoumean_it @ 2009-06-01T19:03:00

2009-06-01T23:05:15Z

I haven't been having a very good month.

sprained ankle

getting sick

still sick can't stop coughing

wisdom teeth are coming in.

got a new puppy that needs constant attention.

dog sitting for my brother.

when do I get a break?

I love lanna

2009-06-01T02:09:02Z

i love lanna

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

What the fuck happened?

2009-05-28T19:02:52Z

I mean I think it finally hit me today.
It feels like 07 was yesterday.
07 was a terrible year.
It also feels like there was enough time to fix all the problems then.
Now no one hangs out anymore, everyone is mostly unhappy with themselves, and it feels like all the happiness was sucked out of everyone.
I'm so angry with the decisions everyone was making back then
I wish I had a time machine.

In the reality of 09 Mike is getting his sweet fucking car back from his brother.
He needs to fix it then all is well. Todays been my cleaning week. The house has never looked better.
I really want to get on exercising again. Its been a while but chasing a puppy around has been plenty exercise lately.

Update.

2009-05-27T18:03:00Z

Baby dog has a name. It is Sadie. She is almost 7 weeks old now. Barks like crazy for attention. I think she gave DJ hookworms so he is on his way to the vet later today wish him luck.
I've been having nightmares lately.
A lot of them actually. They are all about mike doing things with other girls, or mike being mean to me.
I don't know why I've been having them but they need to stop they make me wake up sad.
I find myself getting annoyed with a lot of things in life. Things that never used to annoy me bug the hell out of me now.
I can't explain it.
But that's got to stop as well.
Myspace gets more boring everyday
Livejournal is full of the same entrys
Facebook is well.. facebook.

The internet is boring me.
I might delete everything all together.

Wait a minute

2009-05-19T20:43:22Z

Am i sure?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

The past meets the present.

2009-05-19T07:45:12Z

not many people know this but back in my boy crazy day I would save my IM conversations cause I knew years down the road they would make sense to me.
I read them all tonight.
A few of you were the person I was talking to.
A lot of them made me smile, others made me get the gut feeling all over again.

The feeling in my gut when I wanted to lay down and die.
When it felt like no one in the world cared, and no matter what you said , people wouldn't hear it.

Then there was this.

Conversation one
life status- very unstable
A boy wrote me this.

"I thought for the longest time I was madlly in love with you... but after living with you for so long and hanging out with you every day.. I realized something... I wasnt madlly in love with you... I knew from that moment on I couldnt spend the rest of my life with you... you were to much of a tom boy... but you were an amazing person... I did love you amanda... at one point I did... but when you wrote me that message and I read it... It didnt effect me at all... I had none of those feelings you spoke of..
it didnt even faze me .... and then I realixed I did treat you pretty bad but you didnt treat me like gold either... your own best freind said you were a horrible gf... and out of all the girls Ive been with in my life you treated me the worst...
I realized your an awsome freind but a horrible preson to spend your life with.... "

which eventually turned into this

Conversation two- different person
life status- finally throwing in the towel.

A friend told me this

[6:01 P.M.]: so what's your story moment of glory?
[6:01 P.M.]: who is amanda?
[6:01 P.M.]: and you're not allowed to copy and paste from myspace
OneMomentOfGlory [6:03 P.M.]: a girl who lives in cape coral not by choice because she had it so good in st.louis, she fell for someone who she thought she knew well, but aparently she was just there to be there I guess what they would call a flavor of the week, but still this prick trys to claim things he can't prove because he doesn't even know what he wants. So I wait. And while I'm waiting I screw a lot of things up between friends, and crushes, and drunken nights. While I'm waiting I drink myself to oblivion
OneMomentOfGlory [6:03 P.M.]: and hope to christ one of these nights will be worth falling asleep for because I could always look forward to fucking waking up.
OneMomentOfGlory [6:04 P.M.]: but I guess since I'm just another one of those pretty girls out there I shouldn't have to worry and things will get better because thats what I hear from everyone.
OneMomentOfGlory [6:04 P.M.]: and everyone must be right.
[6:04 P.M.]: everyone lied to you

I do not miss you drama of 06-07
And I've found someone to spend the rest of my life with at 22 years old. And I can see that he feels the same way, even when he is dreaming.

I'm finally as happy as I've always wanted to be .

And it feels so good.

Yay!

2009-05-19T03:11:07Z

little baby lab has hookworms.
poor thing. she got them from her mother while in the womb.
Shes on meds and having a rough day/night but I hope she feels better soon.
Harry is here.
He is a BIG lab not a boxer like i was told.

Meet Harry

hes just a big puppy.He acts just like Marley from Marley and Me. So right now we got a full house, 4 dogs 2 cats 3 ferrets
At least we have the room. Hes a ton of fun though. Mike had to stay up all night with the puppy last night so tonight is my turn.
It's only 11 and I'm dead tired.
ugh!

New puppy

2009-05-17T20:33:03Z

is such a baby.

and a handful.

I never knew how much work it would be taking care of a puppy so young but shes a sweet heart.

Harry is comming over today!

Harry is and 8 year old boxer I am doggy sitting for a few weeks.
He's my brothers which means.... IANS MOVING BACK! yay!!

I'm excited.

so heres some baby pics.
Her story is a good one though. The mother was found abused and hurt and a girl in naples bought her off of the person who owned it because he simply would not give her away for free which is sickening. She paid 100 to save the mother and the puppies she was pregnant with. The mother was unable to produce milk I do believe due to the lack of care from her terrible owner so the girl had to bottle feed the puppies for weeks. Now I know puppys legally are not allowed to leave to a new family until they have reached 8 weeks, this puppy looks to be only about 4-5 weeks.
She eats like a pig but its hard to get her to drink water so I'm still giving her formula from a bottle and water as well from a bottle. She is a lab but I'm sure she is going to be a lab mix seeing that one of her sibblings was brindle (brown/black). I'm excited to see her grow up with our other dogs! I just hope the other puppies are so lucky to go to a home where the new owner knows how to handle just a young animal.
At least she was given a chance and a good home!
Check her out!

coolest pup ever, linny the guniea pig stuffy from wonderpets and a WALLE blanky!

shes tiny

There they are! Oh and just for kicks, a funny picture i took of our fatass cat Oliver the other day

Hes the man.
<3

Meet

2009-05-16T06:01:06Z

Our new puppy.
black lab. About 4 weeks old. I do believe.
She eats like a piggy and still drinks from a baby bottle.
I love her.
She needs a name.

I've been sick all morning. Feeling a little better now.
<3

PETS

2009-05-12T20:09:30Z

If you can't take care of them why the fuck do you have them?

Criagslist grosses me out. People trading animals for ipods and games and all kinds of material bullshit. You all should be ashamed of yourself.
This week I've gotten phone calls from people in need of help related to animals.
I hate that people can't spay or neuter their outdoor animals. And even if your pet isn't an outdoor one , but sometimes gets out why the fuck haven't you fixed them? I also hate people that neglect their animals!! It makes me so upset that anyone could do that to a living creature.
I'm trying to adopt a lab puppy now because these past weeks with all these craigslist bullshitters haven't worked out.
GOD

Bitchin

2009-05-07T21:10:25Z

all I'm saying

2009-05-06T21:36:27Z

Is that if you want to leave someplace that you "hate" but think that you "can't" its all in your mind.

And maybe if you think you act retarded when you are drunk and have to apologize for it then you have a fucking problem.
Stop ruining everyone else's good time.

Disapointed.

2009-05-05T23:12:12Z

Everything lately.
Sometimes I wish I could jump forward to the part where I'm happily married and have children just so this childish bullshit games stop occuring in my life and around my home.
I'm 22 years old and I'm still cleaning up after people. I'm still making sure everyone is safe, and having a good time, or that everyone is well taken care of.

It feels like I'm always being taken adavantage of.
Its ruining my life. I never have time to spend with the love of my life. Just me and him. Like other couples do sometimes. It feels like were too busy all the time taking care of everyone else that we will never have time for ourselves ever again.

I hate being the only one smart enough to quit drinking before 2am rolls around so I can be able to function and get people home safely. I didn't get to party my ass off and pound shot after shot. I'm a responsible adult. Some of you should try it sometime.

I hate getting blamed for shit when I did nothing but care.
I hate when people get drunk and whine and bitch about things that they wont remember in the morning because they're too afraid to grow up and confront people.
I hate people that are ungreatful.
Its the same routine everyday.
Wake up , clean up after people,try to entertain everyone, go to bed.

I need a good job that keeps me from home. If home won't change, I'm going to have to.
I just wish people today were like when we were younger. When they teach you the please and thanks yous. When you learn your manners and you actually care about others feelings. When you know someone is upset and you try to fix it, you try to cheer them up, you TRY to understand.

I don't think anyone I know today could give a shit about anyone elses feelings.

I feel hurt.
I feel used.
I feel FED UP.

I want my life back.
But I don't remember where I'd like to pick it up from.

That brings me back to the first part. Remember that? How I wish I could get to the part already with the marriage and kids? Well maybe I need to go back to the everyone fend for youselves days. And do it all on my own.

New Screen Name

2009-05-04T07:48:49Z

MackNCheesePlz

Add it.

talk to me sometime<3

so

2009-05-04T02:38:44Z

new gay bar opening up on 47th ter.
Might be working there with mikey
I'm excited!

Summer Blues

2009-04-28T22:38:58Z

I know it just ended but I want Winter back already.

I miss the cold outside.
Pft oh well.